You're Still Here
by Luna Silvereyes
Summary: When all hope disappears from life, she appears to restore it again. Ever since she left, I kept my last wish of my hope to meet her again, even though I knew that my death would be necessary for such a wish to come true. Only when the last grain of hope disappears from my darkening soul gem will I be granted the privilege of meeting my one and only friend one more time.


You're Still Here...

Luna Silvereyes

_**Spoiler Warning**_

This world felt like a foreign planet. How could it not? Everything I knew was different, and I was the only one who felt it and knew it to be so. Even Kyubey didn't understand, blissfully trotting along beside me and humming some silly little tune he picked up somewhere.

"What is that?" I asked him.

"Oh, this? It's a song I heard on the radio. It's called _Jamie_, I think,"

"Hm,"

Although I still harbored a faint amount of dislike to the creature, I couldn't hold a grudge against him. He still didn't quite believe me when I told him of the other world where magical girls transformed into witches once their grief seeds became too tainted. He exclaimed that that system seemed much simpler than the one we currently employed. I'd long since given up trying to explain the truth to him. In its place, I was now making a true attempt at becoming friends with him, to some degree anyway. But after all I'd been through at his beck and call, I doubted I'd ever completely trust him.

The pathway I took to my house took me around the outskirts of town, close to a small, quaint neighborhood I knew well. In a week, a very special day would arrive. I wasn't in any hurry and since I was planning to be elsewhere when that day arrived, I decided to take an unscheduled detour from my normal route as I made a left instead of a right.

"I'm going this way," I told him. Kyubey stopped, staring at me with that same bland, never-changing expression, "Oh?"

"Yes. Go do what you like," I told him. He turned and walked away without a word. He and I both knew that he was no longer needed at my side.

The house was so familiar to me. It was a very nice, welcoming home with wide picture windows revealing the marvelous indoor garden her father had always worked so hard on. I could see him in there harvesting some cherry tomatoes, his specialty. I could almost smell the fresh produce as I made my way up the walk. Before I could even knock on the door, it swung open, revealing the lanky little boy standing there with a big, nearly toothless grin on his face. His eyes lit up as he saw me, "Homura-than! You came! Mama, Homura-than ith here!" he yelled back behind him. As soon as I caught sight of his gaping gaps, I had to struggle to stifle my laughter.

"T-Tatsuya," I stammered, "I see you've lost some teeth,"

His face reddened and his cheeks puffed out childishly, "Thtop laughing at me!" he snapped.

"I'm sorry," I giggled, "But you look so silly,"

He was about to start shouting when a gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him. We both looked up at Mrs. Kaname standing there, watching us bemusedly.

"Hi, nice to see you again, Homu-chan," she greeted cheerfully. I didn't mind the nickname and was even happy to be called by it. I noted with some surprise that she was now very big and round. I smiled, "I see it's almost time," I told her. She rubbed her belly fondly, "Oh, you'd better believe it," she said with a huff, "And trust me, it's not easy to get around. You wouldn't think that something weighing only six pounds or so would cause so much weight to form. Come on inside. I'll have Tomo make us some tea,"

She stepped back, allowing me inside. Tatsuya followed along behind, trailing off toward the greenhouse to fetch his father. Mrs. Kaname led me to the front room and sat down on the sofa. I grabbed a cushion from the other side and set it on the coffee table for her.

"Aw, thanks Homu-chan. You really know how to treat an expectant mum," she joked, raising her feet up and settling them on the cushion. She sighed again, "Ooh, I tell you, I love being pregnant, but at this stage, I'm pretty much ready for it to be over with," she admitted sheepishly.

I took a seat across from her on one of the chairs, crossing one leg over the other, "When are you due for?"

She patted her belly, a wry look on her face, "This baby must be pretty darn comfy in there. I _was_ due three weeks ago. So, since my baby is refusing to budge an inch (must take after my side of the family) the doctor planned a C-section for next week,"

"Are you set, then?"

"I sure hope so. Due to circumstances, Tatsuya's old clothes won't work, so we had to buy new things. It's just as well; I hate hand-me-downs. We're converting the study upstairs into the baby's room,"

My heart skipped a little bit at that. It was going to be the same room. My hands shook a little bit, "I'm glad to hear things are going well," I said with a smile, "So then, what are you—"

I was interrupted when Tatsuya barreled through with his father trailing calmly behind, carrying a tray with teacups and homemade cookies. He set it down on the coffee table and smiled, "Good afternoon, Homura-chan," he greeted politely, "Thanks for coming to visit us again,"

"It's no trouble. I'm as excited as you are," I told him, "But at this point, I'm kind of anxious to know what you've decided to name your first daughter,"

Mrs. Kaname beamed, "We've been talking about that very thing recently," she exclaimed, "You see, do you remember when we first met you? Tatsuya was showing you his imaginary friend. Do you remember what her name was?"

I forced myself to nod, "Yes," I whispered, "Her name was...was Madoka, wasn't it?"

"That's right. Well, I know it's silly, but Tomo and I actually really like that name. Between the two of us, we're beginning to agree that Madoka might be just perfect for our cute little girl. But seeing how you're Tatsuya's 'big sister', we thought it might be nice for you to help us decide on the name for his 'little sister'. So, what do you think of the name?" she asked excitedly, leaning forward as best as she could.

I hoped they didn't notice how much my hands were shaking. How was I supposed to respond to this? In my very deepest mind, I was sure there could only be one Madoka Kaname, that no other would ever come close to replacing her, even if I was the only one who could remember that she'd even existed on earth, not just as a magical girl, but as this couple's own firstborn child? I couldn't tell them that they'd had a daughter by that name, that Tatsuya had a real big sister by that name, that I had been best friends with that girl, and that most importantly, that that girl had saved the entire world from a fate of endless despair at the hands of witches, rewriting the universe as they knew it and erasing herself from existence.

My shoulders began to shake slightly and I quickly bowed my head so they wouldn't see my eyes swimming with tears.

"Homura-than, why are you crying?"

My head shot up as his little fingers enclosed over mine, his innocent wide eyes staring up at me concernedly. This was the face of her beloved baby brother who now held no knowledge of the divine savior his sister had traded her own existence to become. I chuckled dryly and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, "I'm fine, Tatsuya," I told him, smiling at him and his parents watching me worriedly, "Really. But that name Madoka is a very nice name, very nostalgic for some reason,"

I cleared my throat, "Mrs. Kaname," I said, "If it's okay, may I feel your tummy?"

Slightly put-off by my drastic change in moods, I'm sure, Mrs. Kaname shrugged, "Sure. It's fine with me,"

I got up and moved over to stand beside her. I gently reached my hand out, placing it lightly on her swollen stomach. Almost instantaneously, I felt a slight kick. Again, that despairing sadness washed through me, combined with the slightly happy knowledge that a new little girl would be born into a world more kind to people like her.

"Madoka Kaname," I said, sure that the baby could hear me, "I think that's a lovely name for you,"

I stepped back and looked at them gratefully.

"We're glad you like— Oh!" Mrs. Kaname started to say before jolting slightly, her eyes blinking in sudden surprise. She looked down at her belly and winced again, "Oh boy, that sure doesn't feel great. Hey Tomo, be a dear and call the ambulance will ya? I'm starting to think that Madoka's getting a little impatient!" she snapped out, grabbing the sofa cushions and gritting her teeth.

"Mama, what'th wrong?" Tatsuya cried in alarm. I quickly hoisted him into my arms and whisked him out of the way, "Nothing's wrong, Tatsuya," I told him, "But in just a few hours, you're going to be a big brother,"

No one noticed the ring on my finger suddenly beginning to alter slightly.

/ooo/

It happened really quickly, far too quickly for me to keep track. I don't know if it was the knowledge that a new Madoka Kaname was being born, or the fact that I could no longer hold it in. I was able to catch a small glimpse of her before my soul gem darkened completely. I stood at the maternity ward window with Mr. Kaname and Tatsuya. There, amidst all the babies with black or brown hair, the tiny little pink fuzz was set apart from the rest. She lay there sleeping peacefully, tiny fists curled into little balls. Tatsuya pointed excitedly, "Papa, papa, ith that my thithter?"

"Yes, Tatsuya. That's your sister, Madoka. Isn't she beautiful? Now remember, she's going to look up to you, so you need to be good and set a good example for her,"

"Okay!"

I slowly slipped away from them, casting once last backward glance at her. She truly was a beautiful baby. I wished her the best of luck as I slipped into the shadows of the darkened hospital.

Slipping to the floor in a shadowy corner, out of sight of anyone who might stumble by, I materialized my soul gem in my hand. The darkness was fluctuating throughout the shady purple. I knew that unless she arrived soon, I would become a witch. Yet, even as that thought entered my mind, I felt it as a warm, calming presence drew near to me. I opened my eyes, hardly surprised when I saw her standing there in that cute little pink petticoat she always donned. She looked just like I'd remembered, just like a magical girl from anime. The costume was a bit on the silly side, but somehow, she pulled it off with grace and dignity.

"Hello Homura-chan. It's been a while, hasn't it?" she said with her usual cheerful smile.

"Yeah, it has," I replied wearily, "I've been waiting for this day, you know,"

Madoka sighed, "I certainly hope you didn't destroy your soul gem just to see me. I'm really not worth that much trouble, you know," she said, folding her arms behind her back.

I shook my head slightly, "No, I held out for as long as I could. I assure you," I answered, "But seeing your new baby sister was just too much for me,"

Madoka's eyes lit up and she giggled, "So I'm a big sister all over again. Lets' go see her when we're done, okay?"

My heart sank and I looked away, "But...Madoka, don't you want to know what they've decided to name her?" I whispered.

"It doesn't matter what her name is; she's a person all her own, with traits and talents she'll develop by herself," Madoka said quietly, "And I know what you're thinking. It's just a coincidence and trust me, she has no magical potential whatsoever. I saw to that personally..."

There was a strange undertone in her voice when she said that, but I wasn't able to catch her meaning. She was back to her usual perky self before I could. She beamed, "Well, lets' see your soul gem,"

I nodded and raised my hand weakly. She took my hand in hers, the warmth flooding through me. I sighed, "You're nice and warm, like a fireplace,"

She chuckled, "Well, you're icy cold, like a snow cone," she countered with a laugh. She placed her hand over my gem and I watched blankly as she drew all the darkness, all the pollution, all the hatred out of it, draining it into her body and purifying it. As she finished, the gem vanished from my hand and my body suddenly grew very light. Madoka held her hand out to me and I felt myself taking it. A gentle tug was all it took and suddenly, I turned out to see my body lying still in the hallway where I'd left it. Out of reflex, I reached out toward it. Madoka stopped my arm and shook her head, "It's okay," she said gently, "You've done enough. It's time for you to rest,"

She slowly led me away from my body. Even though it had been broken and betrayed so many times, I still felt a tug toward it, empty shell though it was. I suppose you'd always be attached to your mortal coil, no matter how much you despised it.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"It's a lovely place," Madoka answered, "And Sayaka's there too. She keeps asking when I'm going to bring you,"

"She...she is?"

Madoka nodded, "Yes. Like me, she now understands everything you went through. She probably won't apologize, knowing her, but she does want to talk to you. And everyone else is there, too,"

"Everyone else," I repeated slowly. Even though she didn't say it, I knew who 'everyone else' was. She nodded again, "Yeah, they all want to thank you, Homura-chan," she mumbled.

"Thank me? Thank me for what?"

Madoka turned. By this point, we'd reached the window again and by now, her father and brother were beginning to notice my disappearance. She squeezed my hand comfortingly, "They want to thank you for saving them. In the end, this was all made possible thanks to you,"

I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. Words I had wanted to say to her flew from my mind then, as if they'd never existed.

Madoka looked up, "It's time, Homura-chan. Are you ready?"

I cast one final glance at the shadowy form of my body lying motionless back in the hallway, at Mr. Kaname and Tatsuya beginning to call for me in vain, and at the tiny form of the new Madoka Kaname lying asleep on the other side of the window. I knew that by leaving them, I was causing them pain, but I also knew that it was inevitable. I was just incapable of holding on anymore and to be truthful, I was honestly weary. Now that I had departed from a physical binding, I was looking forward to once again spending time with my best and only friend. As she led me away from the life I once knew, I felt all my anxieties slipping away, most likely being absorbed by her in her never-ending empathy toward magical girls. To be near her again was...comforting.

To finally know true peace was...was a wish come true.

At long, long last.

A/N: I had this idea for a while, but decided to change it up a bit. I finally finished the series. Amazing! Now I hope they animate Oriko and Kazumi! That would be cool!


End file.
